“… and Thou Shalt Be Stricken With Disappointment Again And Again, and Thy Book Shall Never Be Published…” Job’s Book of Publishing 5:2

I think I’m coming down with psychic… itis. Becoming psychic. Take yesterday: I was skipping lightly up the many steps to my house, thinking of nothing as I have no inner life, when I suddenly had a thought.

A thought about my new book “Don’t joke on the stairs.” It was probably the steps that brought it on but I walk up and down them many times every day, so why now? Anyway, the thought was: What if X (the publisher who had promised me to start the work on Don’t Joke in April after South China Morning Post Publishers with whom I had a contract to  publish it in February this year suddenly announced in January that the company was being suspended) … what if X also backs down? Then I won’t have any books coming out this year at all! No launch party… no insights in the real, surreal China for the great unwashed masses before the olympics. And social death for me.

But then I thought, no, X won’t do that? She’s a woman of her word?

But in my inbox this morning I found a mail saying that’s exactly what happened. Now I’m thinking: I wonder if she decided that at exactly the same moment as I was struck by the thought on the steps outside? If it isn’t the case, in fact, that I’m becoming a raving psychic? That would be good for business perhaps, but it’s still not good. I’d rather have no thoughts.

And I’d rather have my book published two months ago!!!!

Penetrative Sex

Why is that the be all and end all for so many guys? It’s all they want to do, penetrate, penetrate, not caring about all the other interesting and charming things the human limbs, digits and organs are able to do.
The ideal romantic scenario for the average guy would be:

1. Handshake
2. Exchange of name cards
3. Penetration

Only raw muscle power on the woman’s part can prolong and vary this procedure somewhat. Is that why so many women flock to gyms? Fortunately I’m genetically lucky in being the offspring of two strong parents. Those muscles come in handy, oh yeah.