Is anybody else tired of reading (and writing) about the sexual exploits of a not very talented man named after a lightbulb?
Hong Kong’s English language South China Morning Post, priding itself on being more highbrow than the Chinese newspapers, writes about this tired story on the first page every day; mostly, it seems, to comment on how obsessed other newspapers are with the “scandal.”
Me, I’m wondering why Hong Kong people have this obsession with using surnames as a first name. Mandela Wong, Einstein Leung and, yes, Edison Chen, is the order of the day here.
I know they probably think that some of the greatness of the scientists, matemathicians and what have you will rub off on them (I still haven’t come over someone named Shakespeare Cheung) but really? You never meet any Europeans called Edison Hanson or Johnson Thomson, do you?
The best “surname as first name” I’ve ever come across was in IKEA in Causeway Bay. The surly, dumpy, spotty checkout-girl with greasy hair who unenthusiastically served me when I wanted to pump another few dollars into the swedish economy, bore the name tag SMITH.
But back to Edison. What’s with the saying sorry? Excuse the pun but what the fuck’s he done? So he likes to see his own scrotum in extreme close-up. What’s wrong with that? It certainly looks better than his face.
I would really have respected him if he’d immediately called a press conference saying: Yes I filmed myself in bed with … some people whose names I’ve forgotten. Do you have a problem with that?
And as for the writhing bints, if they’d given interviews saying: “Yes we did it with Edison. It wasn’t much because he was too busy checking his hair, but hey, we’re on TV innit! You have a problem with that?” I would have applauded them.
As it is I despair to live in a town where adults have to apologise to the public for having had sex in the tasteless comfort of their own homes.
But I think old Thomas Alva will be proud knowing that somewhere there’s a man who’s named himself Edison, and who has made the ultimate sacrifice to atone for the sin of following his biological urges: Leaving the Hong Kong entertainment industry forever.
Talking of strange names, I read in Saturday’s edition of the South China Morning (23/02/08) that Baptist University social work lecturer and culture critic Bottle Shiu Ka-chun said: “It was very predictable that netizens would come out to attack Gillian Chung after Edison Chen Koon-hei decided to quit showbiz.
What I am wondering is why a social worker would call herself “bottle”? Hmmm.
Well, chun means bottle. I’m trying to find the Chinese character for her (or his) name…
But it is doubtful that any parent would call their child Bottle in any language.
I’d like to hear more names! My student’s secretary is called Delegator. Today I had a taxi driver called Virtuous Unicorn, so yes maybe Bottle isn’t so strange.
echo gong – a real live student of the lse… i’ve always sort of wanted to befriend her so i could brush her tangled hair and give everyone who sits behind her in class one less tangle of post-cat stomach hairball to be annoyed about. but alas, i don’t think i could not laugh if she ever introduced herself to me. some other faves (all from the lse, which surprisingly, is a large pool of asian insanity) cannas (which according to google, is the plural canna lilly, i suppose canna lillies would’ve been to awkward as a first name) ng, sinbad fu, and francesco chan… and these are all fully english-fluent ,and genetically chinese, not italian, cultured? people.
I’ve met Chimpansee Lee, Bandex Chan and Kennex Leung. It’s just … I hardly seem to notice anymore.
Echo, yes that’s a normal name. Scores of people are called Echo, obviously…
I’m just waiting for someone to be called Anus. It does sound like some Roman emperor, doesn’t it?
I have a business card which was given to me about a year ago. On which the person name was ‘Vagina’ Lau I was so sort of taken back when it was given to by the woman, and tried to stop myself shrieking with laughter.
After the funny side of it was all over, I later took the lady to one side and quietly asked her again, what her English name was again, and she said with a smile Virginia, why do you like it?
It took me all my effort to keep a straight face and explain to her that there was some sort of spelling error on her business card and that it said “Vagina” and not Virginia. She took out a handful and simply said, “oh, it seems as if this is a misprint, I will get onto the printer.” I had to explain to her what the meaning was of the misprinted name and she broke down crying. To console her, I said I would try and get all the cards back from the people she had given them out to, where I work. But wickedly, kept my one in my collection of Chinese business cards.
There is a moral in this scenario. I wonder what it is?
James
Always print out your own stuff! Like free papers from the internet!